Reminds us of those College days years of non-stop masti

March 11th, 2009 by User | No Comments | Filed in Jokes, SMS

Hi Friends:


Reminds us of those College days…. years of non-stop masti… day
after day…

1. On being Late:

“Kab shuru hui class?”

“Attendance ho gayi kya??”

“Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar”

“Mein kya karu, subah bathroom me koi ghusa hua tha”

“Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu……… bolna ……. kal kya
padaya tha isne”

“Kal se pakka class time pe karunga”

“Ek page de na………. abey pen bhi to de, nahi to kisse
likhunga…….”

“Kal proxy mari thi kya”

” koi subah kaise aa sakta hai……..”

“wo bhi iss class ke liye “

2. During the lecture:

“Yesss!!!! Sirrr…….The answer is

…………huuuummmmm…….aaaaaaaa………….”

“No sir…..I know the answer ……sir….”

“Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai”

“Abe lecture ko chodd….. Anjali kya lag rahi hai aaj……..” HE HE HE
HE !! ;) )))

“Uski tshirt pe kya likha hai dekh”

“Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha kya…….gadha…….”

“mera assignment tere paas hai??”

“Tereko bhookh nahi lag rahi kya??”

“Kya bore kar raha hai. Bola tha canteen chalte hain ..”

“Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go now!!!”

“Boss class khatam hote hi kadak chai chahiye……”

3. Lab:

“Expt. 2 likha??”

“last time tu aaya the kya?””

“Karna kya hai??”

“Yeh bhai…..merko pata hota to tere pass kyon aata……..”

“Areee tu to bura maan gaya …….chal dikha na…..bhau kyo kata
hai….”

4. Sessionals Test:

“sessionals test???? ……Aree yaar…… “

“Kya……. abe unit test mein itna sara topic hai to final mein kya
hoga….”

“Boss….. hogaya…….aur nahi ho sakta……..jaan nahi de sakta
apni…….”

“Oh !!! Itna syllabus cover ho gaya ?????”

“Aaj kounsa test hai?”

“Oye Sushil kaha hai……uska roll number mere baad hai…….wo nahi
aaya to mein pakka fail….”

After test……

“yaar pada tha….recall nahi kar paya…….chhod na ……. Canteen
chalega…” SAHI !!

5. For attendance (less attendance isliye attendance badane ke liye
bahane):

“I was in the class, attendence bolna bhool gaya “

“Oye usko thoda khush kar list se tera naam hata dega……..”

“Bola tha proxy regularly maar…….. Saale tera class karne ka kya
faida hua…..”

“yaar lag gayi apni to..”

6. Late submission of assignments:

” Maine us ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein
submit kar dena”

“Last date extend hua thaa”

“I didn’t know the last date”

“Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya……..”

“They should allow XEROX……..sala system hi kharab hai ” :D

7 . After exam:

“Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya? Shitt…”

“kya bol raha hai yaar..aise karna tha kya”

“Is subject ki reference book kounsi hai”

“1st mein 3 marks…..2nd mein 0…….3rd mein 2…….
Gaya……….fail pakka…….”

“Yaar notice lagte hi hata dena……..wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh
kar……”

8 . VIVA (b4 exam):

“Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga”

“Aeee…….Akash…..terese kya kya poocha….mood kaisa hai..”

“External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya…….”

“Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak
preparation nahi hui hai” :D

9 . VIVA (General):

“Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko woh nahi
poochhnewaala, then watz the point” :D

“Roll no. 46 ki watt laga di hai” (I was Roll no. 46 L )

“External is asking ctlr key ka ascii code kya hai ?”

“Ye kounse unit mein aata hai ?”

10 . Submission:

“Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?”

“kaat kaat ke likh le…kaon padhta hai”

“Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?”

“Jai ho computer baba ki……jai ho Ctrl C – Ctrl V ki…….” :D

“Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?”

11 .Copying Assignments:

“Ye tune kya likha hai????”

(The best one)

“Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha
hai uska drawing nikal” :D

“Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??”

” Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya, tu bhi wohi kar.”

“Koi hint……..”

“Are baba ghaseet de……..na tu samjega na wo……..”

12. Exam:

“Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai
woh NAHI aata hai” :D ..VERY VERY TRUE !!

“ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai yaar….to ab kya poochenge”

“ye last time hi poochha thaa……is baar nahi aana chahiye”

“tere paas is ke notes hai??”

“Neend aa rahi mujhe to…thodi der so jata hoo..utha diyo pakka”

“woh chapter… mark weightage 6 marks… (facial ex-pressions speaks
the story)”

“nahi samjha to rat le” – PERFECT ONE

“External ka aane ka pura scene hai……. “

“Iss paper mein roll number ke kya order hai……..”

“Pichle paper mein kuch to aata tha…….issmein mast lagegi
apni……”

“Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya………”
I AGREE !! !!

This one is dedicated to all my college friends:

“bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai

Aaj har wo din jeene ko man karta hai.

kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain

kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain.

abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai

Dopahar ki class mein aakhein band karne ko man karta hai.

Doston ke room ki wo baatein yaad aati hai

exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak yaad aati hai,

college ke paas wali thadi ki chaay yaad aati hai

tab ki bekar lagne wali photos chehre pe hasi laati hai.

Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai.

Par tumhari galti dekhne ka ab bhi mann karta hai.

Ek aisi subah uthne ka mann karta hai

bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai.

bas ek bar aur

wapas lautne ka man karta hai.”

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THE BANANA TEST..

January 24th, 2009 by User | No Comments | Filed in Jokes, SMS

THE BANANA TEST

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals,

a LionLion, a ChimpanzeeMonkey, a GiraffeGiraffe, and a SquirrelSquirrel, who pass by.

They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.

Who do you guess will win?

Your answer will reflect your personality.

So think carefully . . .. Try and answer within 30 seconds

Got your answer?

Now scroll down to see the analysis.

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If your answer is:
Lion = you’re dull.
Chimpanzee = you’re a moron.
Giraffe = you’re a complete idiot.
Squirrel = you’re just hopelessly stupid.
A COCONUT TREE DOESN’T HAVE BANANAS.
Obviously you’re stressed and overworked. Smile
You should take some time off and relax!
Try again next year.

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Renewal of Contract Of Freindship for 2009.

December 26th, 2008 by User | No Comments | Filed in Jokes, SMS

After serious & cautious consideration … Your contract of friendship . Has been renewed for the new year 2009 !!

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It was a very hard decision to make !!! So try to be friendlier and more caring next year. I am giving you another chance so …

Don’t mess it up! Becoz it’s impossible to find a friend who is…

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96 % funny,

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97 % kind,

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98 % loving,

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99 % talented

and

100 % sweet.

So don’t lose me …

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OK

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Free animated gifs by Sevenoaks Art

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Girlfriend Quotes

December 8th, 2008 by User | No Comments | Filed in Jokes, Quotes

“I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.”
~Mitch Hedberg

“I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb ..and I’m also not blonde.”
~Dolly Parton

“When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes”
~ Stephen Wright

“A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.”
~Carrie Snow

“Relationships are hard. It’s like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two week’s notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have”
~Bob Ettinger

“If your best friend has stolen your girlfriend, it does become life and death.”
~Ben Kingsley

“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”
~Maryon Pearson

“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.”
~Unknown

“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired”
~Robert Frost

“Where’s the line between professional girlfriend, and just plain professional?”
~ Sarah Jessica Parker- Sex and the City :P

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Good bye

March 18th, 2008 by User | No Comments | Filed in Jokes, Poems

Never have I hurt this much,
never cried so many tears.
This pain you’ve caused,
it’s not your fault,
this I know with all of my heart.

I want to hug you,
but also to slap you,
kiss you but also attack you.
This pain is so intense;
it takes my breath away.

Who am I to turn to?
What am I to say?
How could one person be the cause of so much pain;
easily break a heart into so many tiny,
jagged pieces? I want to hear your voice,
but never again see your face.

I want to hold you in my arms;
I still wish that you were mine.
thought there was a chance for us,
there’s still a love you can’t deny.
The tears pour down yet once again,
and my heart breaks anew.

Oh, how I already miss you.
Never again will I laugh with you,
never again smile at your jokes.
This is it, this is the end,
this, is….goodbye.

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Funny Thanksgiving Sayings

November 18th, 2007 by User | No Comments | Filed in Jokes, Quotes

Arnold can be quite humorous at times:

“I love Thanksgiving turkey… it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.”

I didn’t find this too funny, but some of you might, “My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” Perhaps because I cook good and I don’t laugh at others cooking :) ”See mom, I told you they wouldn’t notice that the Turkey was past expiration date. You were worried for nothing.” very funny!

“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” But the Turkey breast is quite lean.

This is a funny farmer saying,

“Coexistence… what the farmer does with the turkey – until Thanksgiving.”

Something funny on, “God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.”

There are jokes and sayings on Turkey, and there is this: “Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.”

Related posts:

  1. Humorous Thanksgiving Quotes
  2. Happy Thanksgiving Sayings
  3. Funny Advice Quotes

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