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Rules of Dating For Men

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You are a guy who is always in a serious relationship. You are a guy who hasnt dated in years. Or maybe youre a guy who has never been successful with women. Whatever your situation, there are some common dating rules to follow when venturing into the dating jungle. These conventions even the playing field, preparing you for success while protected your emotions. Women are trained from day one in the art of dating warfare. They have a physical and emotional arsenal that you may never hope to match. But you wont be outgunned if you properly prepare for the battle.

1. Look your best. Get some decent clothes and shoes. Women always look at your shoes, even if you last checked your Nikes in 1996. Get clothes that fit you, suit you and are contemporary. Dont just buy one outfit, sort out your entire wardrobe. Buy a nice tailored suit, there is no excuse not to. If you cant take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of her?

2. Sort out your hygiene and styling. Go down to the barbers and clean up your hair, getting it styled if possible. If you dont have much hair, still get down to the salon, maybe get your head shaved. Or just get a regular shave, a professional shave will leave your face looking and feeling great. Then it is off to the shops with you for good quality cologne and a grooming kit. Men are so often criticized for smelling bad. Get into a regular showering routine so you will always smell fresh and clean. Women appreciate it.

3. Sort out your job if you have one. Women want a man who has some ambition in life. Coasting along as a skateboard instructor is generally not going to win you a real catch (though Id give it a go, I love skateboarding). Any job is better than none, but knuckle down and sort out some direction in your life. If possible try and look like you have something of a career. If you have a manual job, at least have some plans to work for yourself, and if you already do, then you are on the right track. But know what you are about work wise and have some idea of your future plans because women will ask questions about your prospects. Even if they pretend it isnt important, it is.

4. Be in the know. Make sure you are up to date with current affairs, watch the news and read quality papers. Women do not appreciate stupidity, and laziness is no excuse for sounding dumb. Current affairs are important in showing you know all about the world we live in. If you travel a lot then this will help tremendously. If you dont, make plans to travel and tell her about it. Proving you are willing and able to plan vacations is essential in the grand scheme of things.

5. Do not extol the virtues of drinking in the bar 5 nights a week. This will never win any fair princesss heart. If you spend all your time boozing with the boys, its time to take a step back and pick up some more productive habits. Taking your lady for a drink is fine, especially if you take her to get cocktails at a nice lounge, but give them the impression that you live there will get you absolutely nowhere fast.

6. Keep your super fan status in check. If you love your sports and enjoying watch the game with your buddies, fine. If sport is a religion and you have your favorite players number tattooed on your back, you may have a problem. If you are serious about dating, rattling off baseball stats, ranting about unfair umpires and constantly check the score will put them off in record time. To the uninitiated, sports are completely boring, and many women interpret the obsession as a total lack of thought, creativity or inspiration. Millions of girls love sports too, and rooting for the same team is great, but dont make your passion into a one-sided one.

9. Never expect sex on a first date. If all you are after is sex, you have come to the wrong place for reading material. If you are looking for the girl of your dreams, there is nothing sexier than a patient man. You are easily capable of waiting for the right woman.

10. Read up on manners, courtesy and chivalry. A woman likes being treated with respect. Lose the coarse language, the swear words, the rudeness and the laziness. Know how to eat in a top restaurant. Know about fashion, jewelry and flowers. Know how to hold a door open for a woman, let her go first and help her with her seat. Listen to what she says but have opinions of your own too. Show her respect and manners at every step and youll be on the right path.

11. Start listening and stop talking. Keep your date interested but dont turn into a one-man circus. She will bore of you quickly because she wants to talk about herself too. Listen to things she tells you about her and remember them. Women love to chat so you need to learn to listen to her. Remembering things she told you will impress her even more.

12. Give up smoking. Now.

13. Learn to dance even if you have two left feet. Women love to dance and it puts you two in close contact. It is also romantic and sexy. You can be the worlds worst dancer, I dont care. But if you stay seated when she is on that dance floor you may as well not exist. Try joining salsa and ballroom classes. You dont need to be Travolta but you should have an idea of the basics of rhythm. Get started today.

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Dating Gifts A Way to Romance & Love

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Buying a gift for a date is prone to disaster so some careful thinking is involved. You meet someone, you like them, you want to please them so its only natural in our commercial world to want to get your plastic out and start spending. Wrong, stop an think about what you are doing. Gifts dont buy love so neither do you. You love someone and they love you for genuine emotional reasons. Yes buying a present or two emphasizes kindness but it doesnt play a major factor. For those who are well impressed by all gifts received, do yourself a favor and steer well clear.

To buy a dating gift well you need to know your lover first, well enough to surprise them and show some of your excellent imagination. The smallest amount of imagination shows forethought and kindness and it shows that you listen well. Which in a mans case is hugely to his advantage when dating. Listen to her and surprise her later, much later.

When you first begin dating, you should show your knowledge and appreciation of the things you have learned about your new partner in very simple terms. For men you should buy flowers, small amounts of pretty natural flowers, not glaring bouquets of red roses. Dont buy flowers every day because everything in large amounts is heavily devalued. Always give in person where you can as deliveries are too impersonal. Also look for pictures and books that she likes, the smallest of teddy bears perhaps and leave it there. For women, its often hard to buy for men but most have some keen interests in a sport or hobby they will have talked about and therefore once again keep it small but pertinent.

You should not then buy further presents until your dating evolves over the next 3 months. If a birthday arises then buy the other dinner as a treat and perhaps the smallest of dating gifts. If Christmas or a religious festival arises in this early period again keep it small and personal.

At the end of 3 months buy a gift for your partner that signifies this small landmark, just one item. Dont make a big thing out of it but make it personal and in keeping with the character of your date. Splashing out on a trip to Venice can wait for your honeymoon. Guys, keep getting your lover small bunches of flowers and mean it when you give them.

You should then infrequently treat your partner with gifts until your first anniversary at which stage you can then let your imagination run riot. Once you approach your first year you really will be on the right road and now is the time to splash out and buy something more significant, whether it be a piece of keepsake jewelry or a watch or luxury item.

I know one couple who are friends who now buy each other more than 100 presents each at Christmas time.. It is their way of going crazy over each other and they both get immense satisfaction in the amount of creative thinking involved in selecting presents. However this kind of lavishness (if you can afford it) does come, but not until later. When you begin dating never forget that it is about the two of you, about your feelings and that no amount of gifts, large or small will make things better. If anything, large amounts of gifts early on can only have a negative effect by devaluing the whole dating experience.

The sad things is that most long term relationships crumble under infidelity or money problems. Dont begin life with your new partner on the wrong foot. If you cannot afford an expensive dating gift, that is fine.

Our Top Dating Gifts

Small bunches of natural flowers
Quality perfume or cologne
Cards and messages
Paying for dinner
Theater and concert tickets
Paying for a small trip
A well-researched book

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How to Overcome your Dating Partner

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The biggest problem in our dating world are jealous and possessive men. While they are desperate to find a woman they can love and adore, once they have found her possessive men most often do not believe they can keep hold of her due to a lack of self-confidence, self-respect and self-belief. They dont truly believe they deserve the girl so they try and subjugate her to rely on them and increase the womans sense of dependency. It is all too common these days as more and more men feel uneasy about who they truly are and lack self-esteem.

The first hurdle a woman faces is in not being able to spot a jealous and possessive man in advance. He is charming and good-looking, he has the world at his feet so it appears and you have absolutely no reason to think he isnt prince charming. And maybe he is Mr. nice-guy at this stage. But if you know then what you later discover things would be much easier.

I first spotted possessive-man-syndrome whilst working for a few years in a regular job in an English city. At the end of day I would walk home to my apartment and was always impressed as to how many boyfriends sat patiently in their cars waiting to pick up their girlfriends and wives from work. I dare say in retrospect a few were genuine but it took me some months of seeing the same faces before I cottoned on to the fact that these guys were not there for the best of reasons. The cat was let out of the bag by a woman friend who said that she could never go for a drink after work because her boyfriend didnt like it and always insisted he picked her up from work at 5pm on the dot. If she needed to go anywhere she had to let him know in advance.

This shocking revelation may be will known to many women readers but for a guy I hadnt realized at that time quite how large the problem was. The key issue it appears is a mans low self-esteem. Usually the possessive and jealous guy believes his lady will be stolen away from him. He doesnt trust her or her words of love and ignores the fact that she stays with him. He feels she is plotting to escape at any turn, looking for a way out and doesnt really love him at all. Why? Simply because he feels he doesnt deserve her and deep down believes she could do far better than him.

This causes the possessive man a dilemma. If she would really like to run away then how can I make her stay. Easy, what I will do is make her dependent on me, make her need me and want me and have no need to be anywhere but with me. Even if I go out every night with my male buddies. The man doesnt love himself so he doesnt understand why she loves him either. But he needs to feel she does, so he needs to have demonstrations as to how far she will go for him. He will promote the positive attitude of staying at home together and group social activities will be extinguished. At home you are where he can see you.

As a relationship develops the possessive man will find ways of ensuring you are there for him. He will create fictitious scenarios where he needs your help and assistance which affect your social routine. Rather than meeting friends you will be assisting him. Of course at first this is all part of romantic relationship building. After all you want to spend as much time as possible with the man you love. Bit by bit he will divorce you for your everyday friends and activities, even spending time illustrating how your friends are not really your true friends. He is isolating you for his own needs.

Once he has done that he will also then criticize you and make you feel bad about yourself to ensure that you too have low self esteem. If you dont feel good about yourself then how will anyone else ever want you. He will tell you how lucky you are to have him and he will always love you for who you are. And eventually he will build up that degree of dependence (and fear) so much that you will truly believe that what he says is true. Your own identity becomes a thing of the past and your friends will make many worried comments to you that you will ignore or make excuses for.

At this stage you are now where he wants you, isolated and dominated. He feels better about himself because you depend on him, but he will never trust you, because he will always believe that there is a conspiracy that you will escape. That you dont really love him after all. He needs constant demonstration and proof that you do. Your friends and his will not know any of this though they may suspect. He will still be the great social guy in groups. Bit it can get to the point where you dread going out socially in case you get a hard time when you get home. This my friends, is not what your life is all about. This isnt why we date and have relationships. Yes we all want to feel desired, wanted and loved in our lovers eyes. But not like this.

A little jealousy, ironically can go along way. Women (and men) like being loved and wanted and a secure arm round the waist drawing you in can be great fun. Small amounts of jealousy (very small in a playful way) can be attractive and sexy. But its knowing when things have gone too far that matters. Many women have admitted to me that a man who has not a single jealous bone in his body cannot really love her. A man needs to show he cares by drawing her in occasionally. Both parties feel good from this. But it has to be kept under control.

There are many reasons why men are becoming more possessive in todays society and we all have our own theories. It is possible that with the rise of women in the workplace and in determining their own independence financially and socially, that men feel increasingly threatened. Their traditional role as husband and father, the dominant voice in the household, is increasingly archaic and has little place in current society. Instead they are desperately attempting to reposition themselves in a relationship and find out what their new role really is. But old habits die hard and men still try and cling on to the ways in which they were brought up. It will take time for men to learn that they are not always the primary focus in a relationship and must give as much attention to the needs of their partner, as they give to him. And to be honest I do not expect miracles overnight.

Men who dont feel good about their own domestic roles, their lack of masculinity, their frustrations with their own poor career, their lack of financial success, their dominant parental influences and their general lack of well-being can all assist in the progression of possessive tendencies. To own someone is not to have them. To be loved is an open invitation, not something to be captured and kept imprisoned.

A happy, confident, self-assured man doesnt have issues about possession and jealousy. No although many aspects of a relationship may be shared, he also treasures his girlfriends independence and her assured separate set of values, as she does in him. Relationships are about sharing but also about retaining freedom of self expression and personal identity. Realtionships are also about innate trust.

There was an interesting article recently in a national newspaper about how dominant career women with great success and financial wealth often still had very dominant partners at home. Let us not confuse manliness and masculinity with possessiveness. Jealousy and possessiveness is about stripping away confidence, esteem and dignity. It is about subjugating and decrying the needs of the injured party for the wishes of the stronger force. That has no place in our modern world.

Jealous and possessive men are sad and pathetic creatures who are all too common today. As a woman you do not need ever to put up with them and neither do they really deserve you. The huge irony involved is that had the guy been relaxed and self-assured he would probably have never lost you in the first place, but his low self-esteem meant that he forced to happen what he most dreaded. You leaving him. If you are reading this and have yet to leave, then you will need your friends and family to assist as you are dealing with a person with serious psychological issues. He will try and keep you and will use any psychological measure he can to make you need him and come back. He will work on the weak spots he has already created in you.

But do try and take heart. Many women have been in the same situation and moved on. Even if it is very hard. As women become increasingly confident in their own lives, so some men fall away into lesser self-esteem. There are lots of really nice guys out there to date and love and the one you have is not the one who will make you happy, whatever he says. It can take a long time to heal some of the trauma you have been put through, but the fact is, it is your life and your world and if you want to do whatever you like to make yourself happy, that is 100% your prerogative to do so. We dont need jealous and possessive men in this world and the sooner they sort themselves out without your help, the better.

Danger Signals:

Dismay and suggestions as to how you should dress
Overly concerned about where you are going when socializing
Insistence on escorting you to mundane places
Interference with your social plans
Excessive phone calls to know your whereabouts
Overly intense nature to anything
Inability to communicate and discuss
Putting you down and anything that makes you feel inferior
Lack of outlook and poor self-esteem or lack of confidence
Dominant overtones in domestic arrangements
Aggressive temper and unreasonable attitude to minor details

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How to End a Romantic Date

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The end of a date can be awkward or it can be exhilarating. Should you lean in for a kiss? Will she give you her phone number? What will he think if you invite him in? If your date has gone poorly or if youve definitely decided you are not interested in seeing this person again, is the end of the date an appropriate time to bring this up, or should you just avoid their phone calls and pretend to have fallen off the face of the Earth? TopDatingTips.com has the answers in our top 10 list of tips for the end of a date:

1. If you really didnt have a great time, you can always end the date early by telling a white lie about having an urgent meeting, phone call, appointment to attend to. Your date will surely not be a fool and will understand what you are trying to say, and probably will appreciate you sparing their feelings. Better still, simply be kind but truthful and point out that you dont think you will be an ideal match, that you have had a lovely evening, but there is no chemistry/connection/whatever the issue is.

2. Never allow someone to believe there is more on offer than there really is. Do not keep your options open with someone if you dont intend to call them. It is always better to end the date as a full-stop than to keep someone hanging on for weeks afterwards. Dont falsely keep someones hopes up, ever.

3. If you are a guy, pay the bill or get the check, whatever you believe. This is not the moment to start quibbling over who had what from the menu and splitting things. The age of chivalry is not dead and you had the company of the lady this evening, therefore it is your task to leave an excellent and chivalrous image by getting out your credit card.

4. If the lady insists on paying half, this can be the sign of a no-strings-attached evening out and that she prefers to leave things in a very even way. If she wants to do this, it is up to you whether you wish to accept.

5. Do not plan deep throat kissing and sex immediately after unless there are extremely obvious signals. And even then, remember that you should be planning to remain an enigma at least for a few dates and resolve not to get into bed just yet. As a guy you should be planning to see her to her cab and then give her a small kiss on the cheek.

6. If you like your date, tell them. You dont need to be explicit but you dont need to be coy either. If you enjoyed their company be forthright and confident and tell them that you would look forward to spending more time in their company very soon. If you can arrange a second date at this stage, then do so, but only if you are serious. People do not like being made a fool of or being let down.

7. Do not try to avoid hurting someones feelings by pretending you like them more than you really do. If you had a good time but wont be seeing them again then better to leave things like that.

8. Keep things relaxed, fun and casual and if you feel they are less interested than you, then keep things open-ended and optional. That way your date will have time to reconsider.

9. If you are a guy see your date safely to a cab or her car and do not make her feel any pressure whatsoever. If you are a girl then ensure you feel comfortable with this happening. If you prefer to see yourself to a cab then do so.

10. And finally but perhaps controversially, dont offer friendship as substitute. This is a date and has its basis in romance. Ultimately you will find friends in many different places, but you should view dating as the possibility of establishing romance as your foremost priority.

Always remember that dating is a step-by-step process. Each first date is an opportunity to either build on the relationship or cut your losses and seek another one. Act accordingly.

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